Suicide

SUICIDE

www.reverbnation.com/antoniojay 

Suicide is on my mind. How did it come to this. Smiling on the outside but hurting so deep within. To many of you I'm probably just another nigger. To my niggas I'll be just another figure. A casualty of not baring the burdens of society. Nobody cares about the burdens of the Black man. That is shown in the fact that everyday another white man kills me in Amerikkka. Forget about the thousands of yrs of wrong done to us. I guess it don't help that my people show symptoms of an oppressed victim. So we kill our own kind because we hate ourselves. hiding all they dirty secrets in books on shelves. But I never asked to be black nor apart of this racial war. Forget the fact that we were sold and still being sold like candy in a corner store. I see the conflict everyday between me n my wife. The different way she sees life because my wife is white.
 Most people don't even know the road we are heading down. Race is just the beginning of my problems. Lets not talk about the fact its hard to get a job. Or I don't got no insurance cause they changed the laws. So I decided that I would start my own business. Then I ran into the money problem once again. I thought I'd sharpen my skills and sale like lil Wayne. But now I'm finding that doing all this just brings more pain. They say more money more problems but, I would I know. I got nothing but problems that start at being broke. Labels and music biz executives playing with my emotions. Wishing I had lots more fans. Where is that magic potion? Family don't wanna show love and friends won't give me props. I thought that I would blow up when my albums dropped. Secret societies want me dead like the kkk. Its fucked up when you get more rights for being gay. With the economy falling. Racist voices keep calling. Pushn for the height of my career but it keeps stalling. I do my own graphics, beats, writing, mixing, promoting. So stressed the blunts won't stop smoking. That's just the beginning not to mention I've raised one kid and got 3 more left to go. My wife work like a black slave whos albino.
 I get looked over by most because they say I'm strong. Then they through they baggage on mine as I carry on. Sweat running down my brow I feel I can't give up. But in the land of the heartless I move but I'm still stuck. I'm like the light in the darkness cause I won't give up. I feel the light starting to fade I need a new bulb. Trapped in a capitalist race that was unfair from the beginning. How you expect me to compete with chains on my wrist. They remove the chains but after they team gotta head start. Now they throwing things in my lane so I can't catch up. The light is looking dem feel like buckling under the unfair pressure. Just remember behind all the weed, weave, and sagging jeans is still the original mothers and fathers of the human race just check our genes. I used to wanna be famous, make billions, to buy bullions, and drive cars with no ceiling. Buy houses for families and build centers for children. But that is all pointless if my enemy is going to destroy it. Black ppl don't stick together we just ignore it. With that being said I Think I found my way out. This write here is the suicide note you will find next to my body laying on the couch.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-realest-feat.-gun-j/id932797858?i=932797866&ign-mpt=uo%3D4